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Panic AttackPull paper, a paper slicer, and an exacto knife out of my purse. Breath in, breath out. Feel the CO2 rushing out of my lungs as the oxygen hits my bloodstream.
Fold the paper in half and slice along the fold, examine the cuts. Look up and scan the room. Look back down.
Set one sheet aside and fold the other diagonally so that a square can be cut. Drop everything as someone screams something about a sport. Breathe again and resume working.
Cut the square and unfold. Look up as a hand lands between me and my current project. Attempt a smile, try to focus, look back down and politely move the hand away.
Fold in halves and then quarters. Attempt to calm down as thoughts rush through my head. Smirk as you growl at me.
Rotate ninety degrees and fold in halves and quarters again. Look up and attempt to make conversation. Try not to focus on the fact that the world is to bright.
Sweep origami into the zip lock and put it all back in the bag. Pull out sketchbook. Start drawing and makin
FailI honestly don't know anymore.
I think I've gotten a handle on things but they spiral out of control. I want you, it's that simple. But I can't have you and in the same way don't want you.
Does that make sense? No probably not. I never make sense outside of academics.
But let me say again, I want you and yet I don't want you and it's because I can't have you that I don't want you. You need time and he deserves it. So I'll sit in the shadows and play the friend. I can live there. I spend a lot of time there.
And you'll never understand that because I don't think you understand me. But then again it takes years to understand me. And the fact is that we may not make it that far because I fail with social interaction. But I'll try for you. Because I care.
You're that Neon atom with seven valence electrons and I'm that lonely Hydrogen floating along, I have what you need to be happy. But I have to be a stubborn Hydrogen. And it's hard, because I just want to throw my little Electron
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